At PJ Media, I detail my solution to the student loan debt problem. Rats trained to pull levers to get food pellets have more useful skills than most of today’s college grads. And the cost of training rats doesn’t grow faster than inflation. I like solving problems. In fact, in my next book coming out in September I solve every problem in America. So we’ll have to find new things to complain about here than problems. * ROMNEY IS TEH BULLY!!! Let’s just face it: We’re never going to focus on the economy for more than a couple seconds. We just don’t have the attention span. We try to pay attention to the important issues, and then shiny object pop up. Right now, it’s some poorly sourced bullying incident involving Romney. It’s hard not to focus a bit on the double-standard here, as the media are digging hard for dirt on Romney but ignoring similar dirt on Obama that can be found just by reading his own book . But there’s no use whining about it; it’s just the way things are. We’re going to have to fight to keep the focus on the fact that Obama is a complete and obvious failure, and the Dems and the media are going to desperately seek any other subject than the important issues. * That might not work, though. New Rasmussen poll has Romney at 50% and Obama at 43% . Logically, Romney should trounce Obama and this election should be very boring to analyze. “Well, Obama was very bad at being president so he lost reelection by a large margin. People don’t like reelecting people who are bad at the job.” We can hope. * Biden apologized to Obama for forcing his hand on the gay marriage issue. What was the justification again for picking this blundering idiot as a running mate? He supposedly knew stuff about foreign affairs because he sat around in the Senate for three decades voting yes and no on stuff? When making any new government program, you need to ask yourself, “Will morons be able to implement this?” Because that’s all you get. * The Los Angles Times asks “Is Obama too brainy to be president?” I really can’t tell if people are being serious or ripping me off . Speaking of ripping me off, I noticed that Stephen Colbert is coming out with a book of a similar concept to my next one. Luckily, mine comes out a month earlier. And will be much funnier. * Wisdom of the Day from David Burge : I was expecting the election to be a referendum on govt spending, foreign policy and the economy, not an episode of ‘Glee’.

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Nuke the News: Shiny Objects

Travis Waldron / ThinkProgress : Indiana GOP Senate Candidate Says His Concern About Poor Not Paying Taxes Akin To Lincoln’s Fears About Slavery

* So Dick Lugar lost his primary . Ends up Republicans are starting to get tired of entrenched incumbents who are completely useless at achieving conservative ends. We keep getting told that if we just get reasonable candidates and never care about actually achieving anything, we can keep getting absolutely useless Republicans elected who never do anything. But the Tea Party is all for being risky and maybe actually doing something about the deficit before the country collapses. That’s why they’re radicals. You only get to be part of reasonable side of the GOP if you’re all for standing back and watching the country slowly get crushed under its debt. * In the Democrat primary in West Virginia, prison inmate Keith Russell Judd got 40% of the vote . In fact, West Virginia Democrat Senator Joe Manchin wouldn’t even say who he voted for in the primary. Maybe they just really like dogs in that state. And who has more baggage to deal with in the general: A prison inmate or Obama with his economic record? * North Carolina has banned gay marriage . That’s the state Democrats are having their convention in this year. Because Obama also hates gay marriage. Though I think he was against the law in North Carolina . So he’s against gay marriage, but he’s also against being against gay marriage. Some people act like gay marriage is this huge civil rights thing and everyone is evil and a hater who opposes it, but if they really cared that much, then shouldn’t they be excoriating Obama for his hugely cynical position on the issue and calling him a hater as well? But they don’t, so obviously no one really cares that much about same-sex marriage. Until I see them constantly screaming at Obama, I’ll assume gay marriage is just a silly partisan thing. * Ends up Elizabeth Warren’s ancestors weren’t Cherokee but instead murdered Cherokees . That clears things up. So the reason Warren joined all those Native American groups was so she could more easily round them all up and make them march the Trail of Tears again. * This is pretty weird: Obama’s White House requires visiting unborn children to be registered . I assume Obama then sends the mother a card explaining how much they’ll save over their lifetime for the cost of an abortion now. Because he’s budget conscious and helpful and doesn’t like people being punished with babies. Obama’s creepy. Did you know he eats dogs? * Wisdom of the Day from Kevin Eder : Obama, who single-handedly devised the most audacious military plan in 500 yrs, can’t formulate a position on same-sex marriage. #GutsyCall

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Nuke the News: Obama Keeps Getting Creepier

Richard Lugar / CNN : On primary day, Lugar defends his value in Senate

Jonathan Weisman / New York Times : Senate Republicans Block Bill on Student Loan Rates