Nuke the News: Wikipedia Is Down, So Just Try and Disprove Any of This

Jan 18 2012 Published by under 2010 Elections

* So Wikipedia has gone dark today. It’s because they’re protesting SOPA which is… I dunno, some sort of internet bill that people think is too obtrusive because it… well, I haven’t heard a succinct explanation yet. I assume it’s pretty stupid because politicians came up with it, but I don’t know the details. I guess I could look it up… oh wait, Wikipedia isn’t working today. Now where am I supposed to look up obscure things about TV shows from my youth? Jonah Goldberg has a great idea: Spend the day making stuff up . No one will be able to disprove you. * Newt built a little momentum from slapping down Obama as the “food stamp president”, but it still isn’t going to happen. Intrade has Romney at 91.2% chance of being the nominee, and at this point it doesn’t matter what cool line someone can come up with; the only way Romney could be stopped is to have some sort of epic stumble heretofore unknown. Like video of him running over a poor person in a limousine while laughing… but Romney has been very careful never to let that be videotaped. Plus, I just don’t trust Newt. One day he’s an awesome conservative, the next day he’s worried Paul Ryan’s necessary budget plan is too harsh and mean. And then he’s throwing red meat to the right just before attacking capitalism in the form of the investment firm Romney worked for. I like one Newt, but I’m scared of the other. Can’t elect Newt unless we know which one we’ll get. * How do you know you’re super radical fringe? Even Nancy Pelosi is trying to distance herself from you . Yes, suddenly Democrats are realizing that maybe a bunch of violent, incoherent hippies is not the path to reelection. Still, they keep Nancy Pelosi around, which means they haven’t quite figured out how to become appealing to the general public. * Wisdom of the Day from M : If you take the word “spatula” out of the dictionary it’s just a list of things that aren’t spatulas. * Man, I’m just out of stuff to say today. Stupid news; be more interesting.

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Nuke the News: Wikipedia Is Down, So Just Try and Disprove Any of This

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Only Career Politicians Should Be President

Jan 16 2012 Published by under 2010 Elections

I have the day off for Martin Luther King Day so I’m going to spend the day concentrating on not being racist instead of blogging, but I do have a new column in the New York Post on how we should only elect a president who hasn’t been sullied by working in a private sector, for-profit job. Isn’t there something just so reassuring about a career politician? He has never worried about “profit” or “efficiency” or “success”; his every job has involved only helping people. Read and be ensmartened.

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Only Career Politicians Should Be President

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Probably Just Me

Jan 12 2012 Published by under 2010 Elections

[pic via IMAO reader Laurie] Has anyone else noticed that Michelle Obama’s eyebrows run at opposite angles to her brow ridges, making it look like she has two x’s above her eyes? It’s like Beaker was on vacation and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew had a bad accident with her at Muppet Labs. By the way, from now on, you’ll be helpless to keep from noticing Michelle’s XX problem in every picture you see of her. Sorry about that. Bonus question: what was originally in the background before they the White House web-nerds photoshopped in the out-of-focus stockings and Christmas tree?

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BCS Champions or BS Champions?

Jan 10 2012 Published by under 2010 Elections

Former LSU coach Nick Saban holds the National Championship trophy For the first time since they started the BCS, a non-conference champion won the title game. And, unless you count the Bowl Alliance (1995-1997 seasons), it was the first time the SEC champion lost the “title game.” But was it really a title game? A lot of people seemed to be upset that Alabama, which didn’t win its conference — heck, it didn’t even win its division — was even in the title game. Of course, I don’t remember hearing all those people piss and moan when Oklahoma played in the title game in 2004 (2003 season) even though they got beat by Kansas State in the Big 12 title game. LSU ended up beating the Sooners in the National Championship Game. I also don’t remember a bunch of whining when Nebraska was in the title game in 2002 (2001 season) when they didn’t qualify for the Big 12 title game. Miami beat the Huskers in the National Championship Game. But, this time, the non-conference champ beat the team that “deserved” to be there, unlike the two Big 12 teams from the 2001 & 2002 seasons. Of course, this was a rematch from a game played earlier in the year. That’s never happened before. Unless you count the 1997 Bowl Alliance title game (1996 season) between Florida and Florida State. FSU won the regular season finale, but Florida won the rematch in the National Championship Game. So what happened — a non-conference champ in the game and a rematch in the game — has happened before. All this whining should have happened the first time one of these things happened. Or the second. Or the third. Waiting until the fourth is a little late. What should have happened? There should have been a playoff. The 11 conference champions and the top five non-conference champions should have been placed in a pool of 16. Like I wrote about here . Then, the two teams that are still standing after that have shown they deserve to be there. Who knows what would have happened? We may have had an Alabama-LSU rematch. Or, a game between Oklahoma State and Boise State. Will a playoff happen? No, because a true championship isn’t the goal of the people in charge. So, we’re stuck with a very imperfect system. Sort of like how we pick presidential candidates.

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Nuke the News: Iowa!

Jan 04 2012 Published by under 2010 Elections

* So the winner of Iowa caucus is… Romney, by eight votes . He narrowly beat out Rick Santorum who one might think would have a boost from this, but pretty much no one thinks he has a chance to carry on his momentum to other states. Plus, I don’t really get what his qualifications are supposed to be. He was a Senator and while ago and… Anyway, now Romney is expected to sew up his inevitability soon. Intrade has him at over 90% chance to win New Hampshire, and that will probably be about it already. So do you guys like Romney? Okay, but can you tolerate him? Sure you can. * Iowa was supposed to be Ron Paul’s big day, but he ended up taking third by winning hugely among the non-Republicans voting in a Republican primary. He also did well in the youth vote, also known as morons. Still, third is a respectful finish… which makes Iowa less respectful for giving it to him. So will Ron Paul be able to build off his momentum and attract more crazy to propel him to the win? Probably not. If only real life were an online poll that nuts with lots of time on their hands could game. * As for the other candidates, Gingrich seems angry he came fourth, Rick Perry came fifth and his “reassessing” his campaign, and Michelle Bachman came in last — after having won the Iowa straw poll — but claims she’s going to continue her campaign (though it’s starting to look otherwise ). Oh, and I guess Huntsman is still around who has been concentrating all his time on New Hampshire. He’s the one not-Romney who hasn’t had his time in the sun yet. Will he surprise everyone in New Hampshire and get the desperate votes of everyone still hoping to stop Mitt? Probably not. We tried to stop Romney and failed, people. We can just hope Obama does no better. * John McCain has endorsed Mitt Romney . So if you were worried that Romney is some sort of RINO squish, that should allay your fears. * Obama is putting his campaign theme together that he hopes will propel him to victory. Here’s one that might work for him: “Know what’s annoying? Jobs.” * The Pentagon is abandoning the idea they should be able to wage two wars at once . So if we’re already in one war and you try to war against us, you’re going to be put on hold. * Things have seemed pretty bad in the world lately, but there is still innovation. For instance, we now have Scotch in a can ! Just what a desperate people were waiting for: 12 ounces of Scotch in a non-resealable container. You get the alcohol content of eight beers in a single can, so less waste to hurt the environment. Seems kind of low class though. It’s certainly not sophisticated as cognac in a can. * A Marine, going off faulty information on the internet, thought he could legally carry in New York City, and when he tried to check his gun at the Empire State Building in an attempt to comply with laws, he wound up arrested and may face fifteen years in prison . Good job gun laws protecting us from law abiding citizens who will volunteer they have a firearm when asked. We’re now past forty states with right to carry, so shouldn’t we be shaming these last few holdouts the way we would places that still support segregation? This is America; we should have no tolerance for being backwards on the concept of liberty. * Wisdom of the Day from Sarah : I didn’t realize Ron Paul had a wife. I kind of thought he was like Papa Smurf.

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Nuke the News: Iowa!

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Because…

Jan 02 2012 Published by under 2010 Elections

Cross-posted at America is an Obamanation!

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Because…

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New Year’s Resolutions for 2012

Jan 01 2012 Published by under 2010 Elections

For 2012, I have composed a list of resolutions for the new year. I have reviewed the list and removed the items that I really don’t mean, and left the ones that have the best chance of being kept. That might not be in the true spirit of resolutions, but at least it’s honest. I hereby resolve to: do a better job of helping out around the house be respectful of liberals not think everyone who voted for Obama is an idiot not throw rocks at the neighbors’ dogs not make fun of rednecks not make fun of yankees not think everyone who voted for Obama is a moron be a role model for children pay attention when my wife is talking apologize when I’m wrong compliment people more often become a serious blogger stop recycling old posts not think everyone who voted for Obama is a dumbass sprout wings and fly Best wishes for a safe, prosperous, and happy 2012.

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New Year’s Resolutions for 2012

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New cookies for the Girl Scouts

Dec 30 2011 Published by under 2010 Elections

You’ve seen the story about the Girl Scouts (the organization) referring Girl Scouts (the young females) to Media Matters as a source to combat “misinformation,” right? If not, over at my little blog, there’s a story on the lack of traditional media coverage . There’s been a backlash, of course. Which means they won’t be able to sell quite as many Thin Mints or Do-Si-Dos as they have in the past. Since the Girl Scouts (the organization) seems to pander to the left, perhaps they’ll have some new cookie offerings this year. Maybe some of these: Samoa Money From Soros Bitches! Taxalongs Dulce En Los Mocasines Obamas Come Outs! Promover El Aborto Fagalongs I wonder what other new cookie varieties we’ll see from the Girl Scouts now that their left-wing bias is no longer secret. Ideas?

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